Welcome to the Live Coverage for
ROADBLOCK:
END OF THE LINE
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If you haven't yet, check out my Predicitions and Picks,
featuring a fantasy booking of the main event
that will warm 🌃th🐈e hearts of the IWC on this cold December evening.
Also, watch this, because Ana Bauert is terrific.
HERE WE GO.
Big Cass vs Rusev
Enzo an♔d Cass come out and run their m♍ouths for like ten minutes before the match.
This happens:
So it's gonna be one of those nights.
Cass spells "Soft" wrong, then gets in the ring and immediately starts beating on Rꦦusev, ejecting him to the out꧅side as we go to commercial.
After the break, Cass is still beating on Rusevꩵ, like Rusev ha🧸s gotten in ZERO offense over the first three minutes of the match.
He retreats out of the ring and into the crowd, Cass follows, Rusev♒ doubles back, sees Lana faking as though she's hurt, Rusev blasts Enzo from behind and slides into the ring.
Cass checks on Enzo, gets counted out.
WINNER: Rusev by Count Out.
That match was considerably shorter th𒊎an tඣhe Enzo and Cass promo that preceded it.
It was almost entirely worthless.
🌟They should have had a six man cruiserweight tag match i💫nstead.
I hope the show gets a lot better from here.
__________________________________
The New Day vs Cesaro & Sheamus
If you believe the bookies, The New Day is losingꦛ this one.
Wow. That would be pretty incredible.
Big E makes a "Roadblock/Cock Block" joke, Xavier Woods singsꦆ "Swing Low, Swissꦏ Chariot," you get the idea.
Here we go, if New Day is really losꦦing their titles here, they're gonna want to make this a classic.
Cesaro and Kofi do their duelling Monkey Flips thing ꧒to start with.
Kofi gets caught with a Sheamus clothesline from the apron, then plays face in peril with Sheasaro c♚utting off the ring.
At one point, Sheamus knoc🔯ks Big E off the apron, so when Kofi gets to h🥂is corner, Big E's not there.
Ceasro does his pop-up Euro uppercut thing.
BIG ꦛE HAS BEEN DOWN ON THE OUTSIDE FOR LIKE ꦓTWO MINUTES.
Finally he gets ✨up to the apron, takes the hot tag, his the Spear through the ropes, rolls Sheamus b🐼ack in, hits the running splash.
Two Count.
Big E is dazed from🌄 a coupleꦰ shots, Sheamus goes for a Brogue Kick, E ducks it and gets him in powerbomb position, nails it.
Two Count.
Later, Kofi tries to rescue E fr𝄹om a Big Swing, Sheamus🐭 goes after him, hits Cesaro by accident.
Woods hits Cesaro with an Enzuigiri, Cesaro g🌟ets Big E🐈nding'd.
TWO COUNT.
The action is too fast and furious.
Kofi taps out to the Sharpshooter, but the ref is ♍distracted by Woꦬods.
Lat♚er Woods shoves Kofi out of the way, gets Brogue Kicked.
Sheamus goes to tag Cesaro, but he doesn't.
Kofi thinks he did.
Hits Troub𝔉le in Paradise on Cesaro, goes for the cover, but Cesaro✨'s not legal.
Sheamus rolls up Kofi.
1-2-3.
WINNERS: Sheamus & Cesaro
The New Day forl🌱ornly gather together, reluctantly but respectfull🐽y give the title belts to the new champs.
Cesaro hugs them.
Sheamus grabs both belts and celebrates by himself on the turnbuckle as Cesaro goes into the crowd to cele🍎brate.
MY GOD THEY'RE STILL♎ DOING THE "WE HATE EACH OTHER" ANGLE THIS SUCKS.
__________________________
Backstage Interview With Kevin Owens
He's horribly insulted by Charly Caruso's insensiti൲ve qᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚᩚ𒀱ᩚᩚᩚuestions.
Owens sees that Jericho is behind him, apologizes fo❀r what happened in the tag match back 🔴on Raw, gives Y2J a present.
It's a holiday scarf.
Jericho throws it back at Owens, wཧalks away from him.
True Love Is Dead.
________________________
Sami Zayn vs Braun Strowman
Sam𓃲i gets a few licks in, but then Braun throws him across the ring and commenc💞es the beating.
Braun has new pants.
Sami i✅s in the ropes, Braun rushes him, Zayn pulls the top rope down, Braun goes over. Zayn tries a plancha, gets caught, dropped facefirst on the apron.
⛦Back in the ring, 🔥Braun keeps the beatdown going, then makes a cover, but pulls Sami up at one.
He does it again, but pulls him up at two 🐠this time.
Sami keeps💦 getting up, Braun keeps putting him right back down.
OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
Sami is bleeding from the mouth.
M💜ICK FOLEY IS WALKING TO THE RING WITH A WHITE TOWEL IN HIS HAND.
MY GOD.
Braun 🐻tells Mick to throw it in. Sami begs Mick not to.
Sami grabs the towel, throws it into the crowd.
Braun charges Sami, Sami dodges, hits the post.
Charges Sami, Sami dodges, breaks through the barric💦ade.
Strowmanꦆ gets back into the ring at the count of nine.
Charges Sami in the corne𓆉r, Sami dodges, Braun hits the 🦄post.
Sami hits a flying crossbody, Two Count.
With less than ten seconds left, Sami hits a Helluva Kic🐎k. Braun doesn't go down.
Time expires.
WINNER, BY NOT LOSING: Sami Zayn
Well, that was unsatisfying.
_______________________
Seth Rollins vs Chris Jericho
I hope this is over in five minutes.
This starts out as a real barn burner.
Headlocks and wistlocks for days.
Jericho able to ta🔥ke control with aဣ missile dropkick and a back suplex.
Now he's chopping Jericho in the corner. Whee.
I am in a terrible mood.
Rollins whips Jericho into the ropes. Jericho hangs on, slide🎐s outside.
Rollins hits his knee to the temple thing off the apron to t꧑he floor, then throws Jericho into the barricade.
Back in the ring, Jericho takes advantage of the ref distracting 🍌Rollins to hit his springboard dropkick on him, Rollins is dow🐽n on the outside.
Just barely bea꧋ts the count of ten back into the ring.
Jericho with a super exciting chin lock.
Rollꦗins fights out of it and runs the ropes, right into a dropkick fr🦄om Y2J.
Two count.
This match sucks and is pointless♒ and I am a grouch.
Jericho slapping a downed Rollins, Rollins starts slapping back, Jericho h🌊its a knee to the gut.
L♛ater, Rollins🥀 does his comeback for real, first hitting the slingblade, then a Buff Blockbuster for two.
Rollins goes for the Pedgree, Jericho back body drops him, Rol🌺lins lands on his feet.
Jericho goes for the Wall🐼s of ♔Jericho, Rollins fights out.
But he's right back in the Walls a minute later, and is ab☂le to fight to 💎the ropes.
J🐽ericho gets Enzuigiri'd, Seth misses a frogsplash,♛ Jericho hits a Lionsault.
Two count.
Is this match over yet?
They're punching each other while they're on their knee൲𓃲s.
Rollins and Jericho reverse a Pedigree into a powerbomb into a hu𓂃rricanrana into a walls of jericho.
Jericho goes for a top ropeꦅ double axehandle, gets kicked a couple times for his troubles.
Kevin Owens comes down on the apron, gets hit by Ro🀅llins, Jericho rolls 🌸him up.
Two count.
Jericho yells at Owens to get away, he does, Jericho turns around into a jumping knee, he goes for a Codebreaker, it's blocked𒐪.
PEDIGREE.
WINNER: Seth Rollins
Tꦯhat was one of the most pointless matches I can remember on a PPV in a long, long time.
I hated it.
So far, the Tag Match and the first halꦺf of Braun/Sami are the only things tonight that haven't sucked.
_____________________________
Rich Swann vs TJ Perkins vs Brian Kendrick
Some really good cruiserweight action.
At one point in ♎the early going, Swann 💮hits a standing Frankensteiner ON BOTH MEN AT THE SAME TIME.
Ke♚ndrick has Swann in the Captain's Hook, Perkins pulls Kendrick off and puts him in the Kneebar, Swann hits a splash on Perkins to break up the hold.
Swan𒐪n blocks Kendrick's Sliced Bread, Perkins kicks Kendrick off the apron, puts Swann in the Kneebar, Swann makes it to the ropes, but that doesn't matter, because it's a triple threat.
Someone should tꦡell Perkins that, because he lets go.
Swaꩵnn and Perkins are trading hands when Kendrick gets back in and gets dou🏅ble superkicked.
Swann immediately kicks Perkins in th🌜e s⛦ide of the head.
1-2-3.
WINNER: Rich Swann
As Swann is celebrating, NEVILLE SHOWS UP.
HEEL NEVILLE.
This is the best tꦍhing to ever happen to the Cruiserweight Division.
It is also the best thing to happen on this PPV.
______________________________________
Sasha Banks vs Charlotte Flair
30 Minute Iron Man Match
They start out slow with a c🅠ouple o🔯f tie-ups and traded headlock takedowns.
Three minutes into the match and neither competitor has really hit a🦂 move on the other.
Sasha꧟ goes for a cr💎ucifix pin, and transitions it into the Banks Statement, only for Charlotte to escape to the outside.
Five and a half minutes in.
Sasha mocks the Ric Flair strut 🌊and this ﷽pisses off Charlotte.
Sasha gets Charlotte in a sleeper with bodyscissors,𝓰 Charlotte stands up and sitdown into a kind of jawbreaker.
Sasha hits her double knees off the apron spot.
Back into the ring, 💙Charlotte gets put into the S𓆉traitjacket hold.
It looks painful,
This guy looks like this:
Sasha hits a suicide dive to the outside, then Charlotte gets rolled back in, and k🍸𓄧icks the legs out from under Sasha on the apron, and she falls face first onto the steel steps.
Char🔯lotte rolls her back into the ring, makes a cover for two.
She's firmly in control now, working over the champ with ꧑stomps and🍸 kicks and submission holds to the neck.
Banks fights back, hits a crossbody for two.
Charlotte gets right back in the driver's set.
HALFWAY THROUGH THE MATCH, STILL ZERO--ZERO.
Sasha almost gets a q✤uick roll up, which pisses off Charlotte.
Sasha attacks Charlotte in the corner with 𒁃slaps and stomps and running Almas double knees.
Charlotte ducks a flying crossbody, the💝n hits Natural Selection.
TWO COUNT.
Charlotte gets Sasha in position for the m𝓡oonsault, but Sasha stops her on the top turnbuckle, Charlotte slaps her, turns her around, hits Natural Selection off the top.
1-2-3.
CHARLOTTE PINFALL. 1-0
C🍌harlotte toying with Sasha now. Sasha with a flurry of slaps, Charlotte ducks, hits a back suplex♛.
Two count.
9 Minutes left.
Sasha rolls up Charlotte, who reverses it, whi🍸ch is reversed by Sasha.
1-2-3.
SASHA PINFALL. 1-1
8 minutes left.
Charlotte gets another nearfall off a big bo💜ot, then drags Sasha over by the corner.
Moonsault! Sasha moves!
Sasha locks in the Banks 🐈Statement💖, Charlotte almost gets to the ropes, Sasha pulls her back.
CHARLOTTE TAPS. 2-1 Sasha
Charlotte is really pissed and super desperate now, fighting for e🌃veryth𒅌ing she has.
Sasha's leg gets caught up in the ropes, Charlot♒te jumpꦚs on it.
Charlotte keeps working the knee, 3 minutes left.
Sasha won't let Charlotte lock in the Figure 4, but Ch🦋arlotte keeps inflicting damage o🌳n it in other ways.
Chopblocks, kneelocks, etc.
2 MINUTES LEFT.
Charl🀅otte locks in the Figure 4, but can🏅't bridge into the Figure 8.
Sasha trying to fight out of it.
1 MINUTE LEFT.
SASHA IS STILL HANGING ON.
10 SECONDS LEFT.
5 SECONDS.
SASHA TAPS. 2-2
TIME RUNS OUT
The ref calls for Sudden Death Overtime.
Next fall wins.
Sasha can barely stand.
Charlotte is licking her chops.
As𒉰 soon as the bell rings, Charlotte goes for the leg, Sasha rolls her up.
Two Count.
Charlotte with a Fall Away Slam.
Sasha tries a roll-up again.
Two count.
Sasha's nose is bleeding.
Sasha somehow puts Charlotte in the B💧anksဣ Statement.
CHARLOTTE REVERSES IT INTO A FIGURE FOUR.
The lower half of Sasha's face is a bloody mask.
CHARLOTTE BRIDGES INTO THE FIGURE EIGHT.
SASHA TAPS!
WINNER: Charlotte
In retrospect, Sasha probably♚ shouldn't have tapped with only two secon💖ds left.
Oh well, hindsight is always 20-20.
________________________________
Kevin Owens vs Roman Reigns
By thꦯe way, I should mentionဣ that earlier tonight, Owens went to Jericho's dressing room, which was locked, and begged to be let in.
There was no answer, so he apologized through ☂the door.
Still no answer, he walked away, dejected.
So Jericho wa𒉰s never in that roo🔯m, right? And he'll somehow get involved with the finish of this match, yes?
Anyway, when Roman comes out, t꧋he boos areღ off the charts.
People are in a terrible mood since Charlotte w𒉰on.
As soon as the bell rings, Owens rolls to the outs🤡ide and takes some time to think about a friendship dissolved.
He gets back in, then right back out.
Roman follows and hits him with a few right hands, then throws him back ඣinto the ring.
Owens gets right back out, because 𓂃it's very important that he look like a weakling coward so that ღRoman can look strong and brave by contrast.
It's like a rule or something.
Back in the ring, Owens cheapsh𒀰ots Reigns, then tries a headlock for a while, which doesn't matter to Reigns.
O🍌wens gets back outside, Roman follows, throws him into the barricade, starts prepping the German announce table for a big spot later.
Back in the ring, Owens is in control for a while until Roman rememb🐠ers that he's superhuman. He takes oไver, and Owens gets out of the ring again.
Roman follows.
Again.
This time, though, Owens whips him into🙈 the steel steps, then nails a senton off the steps onto Roman.
He rolls Roman back into the ring, two count.
Now it's time for the five m🐬inute sectionꦬ of the match where we think Owens has a chance.
Roman with an extended stay in Chinlock City.
Then Owens hit his fantastic Frontflip Leg Drop.
Right back to Chinlock City.
Roman stands up, Owens throws him right back down to the m✃at, tries for another senton, 🅰Roman rolls out of the way.
Now they're trading hands.
Roman has now co𒊎mpletely shaken off all the damage that he took over the la𓆉st five mintues.
Romanဣ tries for a Samoan Drop, Owens slips out, hits a release Germaꦜn Suplex.
⛄It has no laꦯsting effect on Roman, because he heals like Wolverine.
He Samoan Drops Owens, then goes for th🍰e Superman Punch, but it's reverse🐭d into a DDT by Owens.
Owens hits the Cannonball, THEN ROMAN GETS RIGHT UP A♓ND HITS THE SUPER𝕴MAN PUNCH.
Two count.
Roman puts Owens on the top rope, goes up for the Supꦯerplex, Owens knocks him back down.
SUPERMAN PUNCH TO OWENS ON THE TOP ROPE.
Roman gets up there for a Superplex again, Owens counters hit into his twisted fisherma𒊎n's driver thing.
Owens gets back on the top turnbuckle, GOES FOR A SWANTON BOMB, b𒁏ut Roman gets his knees up.
Reigns has Owens in position fo🐻r the Spear, Owens rolls out.
Drive-💫By. Roman rolls him back in. Owens rolls right b𝔍ack out.
Roman tries another Drive-By. Owens do🍬dges, superkicks Roman. Then superkicks him again, onto the German Announce table.
Owens hits a Bullfrog splash off the barricade onto Roman. The♎ table doe🌟sn't break.
So he tries it again. Table breaks this time.
Roman barely gets back into the ring.
OWENS HITS THE BULLFROG SPLASH FROM THE TOP ROPE.
Two Count.
Reigns right back to being Superhuman, does his Powerboꦏmb on Owens.
TWO COUNT.
Tries for the S🃏pear, ♑get kicked in the teeth, POP-UP POWERBOMB!
1!
2!
Roman gets a foot on the rope.
Owe♕ns goes out to the timekeeper's area, gets his belt, was going to hit Roman with it, but the ref grabs it from him.
SPEAR FROM ROMAN.
No cover attempted.
Jericho comes running down to the ring.
CODEBREAKER TO OWENS.
WINNER BY DQ: Kevin Owens
Jericho🌌 picks up the title belt, looks at it and gives it to KO.
He smiles at him, raises his hand!
T��HEY"RE BACK TOGETH🐭ER AND ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD!
They walk up the ramp together arm in arm, and Rollins comes ou꧃t on to the stage.
Owens and Jericho go bacဣk to the ring, Owens gets speared by Roman at riꦚngside.
Jericho gets Pedigreed by Rollins.
Then Jericho gets SHIELD Powerb𒐪ombed through the Spanish Announce Table.
Rollins and Reigns go after Owens now, up the ramp, and they Powerbomb him through the Announce Table o🐓n the stage.
They just made Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins into the ♏two biggest heels on the roster.
They have to realize that, right?
